I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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