Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
