if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
