fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
