thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
