First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
