If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize