You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
