Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
