Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
