and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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