Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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