i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
