somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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