I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
