I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
