like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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