96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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