Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
