So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
