walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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