did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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