break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
that's an acceptable place to lick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
