He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Operation Purity has been aborted
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
