and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
