...so i touched it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
