so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
COCAINE IS GR8
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
