I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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