My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
