Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
