where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
