they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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