So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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