It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize