Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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