i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
nutella sex= disaster
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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