No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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