This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just want nice things and good sex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize