that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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