So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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