New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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