this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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