he puts the penis in happiness.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
