Duck Duck Cougar?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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