I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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