No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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