she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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