Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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