I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
