It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize