Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
