happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
