We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
