You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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