he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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