remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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