Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
