I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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