so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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