you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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