We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize