I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
