in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
