I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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