Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How does it feel to date your dad?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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