I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
