this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
