I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
