Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
