just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
