What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
